SakuraSorceress

Dear Emily, You would always make my day I repaid you by crushing yours Dear Emily, Your hugs always gave me the greatest comfort I repaid you with a stab in the back Dear Emily, You always saw past my bitchy game I repaid you by being a pro Dear Emily, You always stood by me I repaid you by standing with her Dear Emily, You always called me your favorite person I repaid you by putting you at the back of the line I'm sorry, For pretending I didn't care When it still kills me inside I'm sorry, I didn't see your pain Now I'm the one with wounds I'm sorry, I didn't try I was scared of your rejection I'm sorry, I pushed

God I hate you! Spewing and seething Tearing me down

Who am I? I don't know anymore... Trying to figure it out with no luck Looking back at fourteen years old I was so sure So me I don't feel so poetic I don't feel so sassy I don't feel so anything I've changed Good? Bad? I can't think about it It makes me want to puke I can't breathe My head is spinning My heart is a heavy stone I feel like I'm going to faint I'm not me Where is me? I miss her! COME BACK! I want to scream! I want cry... I want to find myself I'm just a blob There's nothing to me ...Help But this blob Is clay I need to mold it Mold it back to me Find the familiar lines and planes Squeeze and st

You gave me fireworks Until you cleared my night sky Empty of nothing I played with a sparkler Fun to look at Yet insubstantial I settled with a candle It made me warm Lighting up my loneliness for awhile I'm pining after a fire Big and blazing Burning me with every touch Yet at night As I lie in bed with tears I'm only dreaming after one My fireworks Dazzling Breathtaking It was once mine And now it's dark I miss my light show

Where once you made me giggle I can barely muster a smile Where once you called me beautiful Our conversations are barely worth while Hun, whatever we once had is fizzing And now you leave me questioning Was I the only one who felt sparks?

I've loved But I've been hurt Like you I've been so depressed That I wanted to sleep and never wake Like you I've dreamed of fatal death Something to ease the pain Like you I've leaned on close friends Trying to get through Like you My feelings should be non-existent Expecting the same sad end Like you I should be building walls and shields Blocking out love from me Like you Except, Walls never occurred to me Bitter never was a thought There was only you Sweet you Cute you Honest you Please be patient Please be understanding Please be there for me I'm ready to give this a chance So when you asked if I loved you I

Excuse you? Who do you think you're talking to?! You're talking to the bitch that has two years on your ass! Are you... Are you really trying to leave me? Oh, Honey, do you not know me?! Sweetie, you do not make decision of leaving me In case you forgot I. Own. You. I do Did you forget that you gave me your heart and soul? All those nights we spent talking I spilled my every thought to you You told me amazing stories that made me laugh I can't count every sweet thing you've said that made me smile like crazy And I can't count every time I said I loved you That I would always be there for you No matter what You said we'd be

A whispered prayer escapes my lips As your memory consumes me I'm lost in our prolonged goodbyes The feeling of your skin to mine Sweet melodies of your loving voice Soft lips that made me dizzy I lost it all once I won't lose it again I clasp my hands so tightly Feeling helpless Small And weak All I can do is whisper prayers Like I did on many sobbing nights I prayed to be back together We are Just too far away I prayed for a road back to you I have it Just blocked with traffic Every obstacle thrown at us Used to strengthen me Keep me going My head held higher Now I'm filled with heavy doubt Fighting back the tears

"I love you," He whispered "Trust me." I nodded Tearing up Reaching out to stroke your cheek One last touch To prove that you were real You kissed my fingertips Then slowly faded away And I was alone I waited Trying to immerse myself in memories Getting lost in daydreams But daydreams and memories aren't a person Aren't you I'm still waiting Hoping you didn't forget me Please come back Prove that you're real

Someone once gave me their soul I was shocked I had never owned anything so beautiful So trusting So fragile But it was mine To keep and to care for they said I carried their soul with me It became so natural Like it had always been mine to hold That soul slowly merged with my own Twisting together So that I no longer knew which was mine And which was theirs As if our souls had never been separate But had been waiting all this time to find each other And finally be whole I'll never forget the day our souls became lost from one another Mine is only half alive now The other half lost with you Does your soul miss mine as much